I picked up a couple of Facebook stalkers over the last couple of weeks and have been debating how to handle it. Cyber stalking is not a new thing; it has been going on for a very long time and resulted in broken lives, hurt people, and people who retreat back into their non-internet ways. What makes this interesting is not that Facebook facilitates stalking – but that even middle aged guys can be stalked by people. So here is what I am doing about it.

I devoted a lot of time in my book about people who were run off the internet and an entire chapter on Kathy Sierra, probably the most famous person to be cyber stalked including death threats over the last couple of years. Unfortunately it is impossible for me to leave the internet, this is how I make my living, and this is where I work and play. The internet is such an important part of my life that I just simply will not let a couple of folks run me off. So step number one is much like Winston Churchill, never surrender speech, the internet is too much of a fabric for me to hang my hat on to give it up.

The never surrender concept then requires that I take some actions; many of those were put in place over the weekend, and will continue through this week.

First thing – get educated – while this is not my first round of someone doing very weird things – this is the first time that it has gone into Facebook and other social channels. I want to know more about the psychology of the person who is engaging in the behavior and what I can do to protect myself. There is a great article in the Crime Library over on Tru.TV (surprisingly enough, they have an awesome section on Cyber stalking and other stalking behaviors on the site, so good for Tru.TV).

I don’t want to overtly tip my hand that there is anything wrong, and even though I am writing this blog entry it is unlikely that my stalkers will equate this blog entry to them. While my case is not the traditional type of cyber stalking – there have been nothing that I would consider a direct threat at this point, more of an obsession issue where people are getting angry because I am not at their beck and call. The problem is that the increasingly strident part of their communication and their feelings of abandonment are starting to be noticeable. The good part is that they are fixated on Facebook; they seem to forget that there are many other places to go. I have also never friended them on Facebook so that gives me a bit of leeway in managing the problem.

Facebook privacy settings – turned off access to everyone to just my friends. And then did nothing else with it. Since I have not made them my friends – restricting access seemed like a very good start to all this and it can be done easily in Facebook privacy settings. While there is a lot of controversy around Facebook Privacy and how it works – this is at least a good start. If you have made your stalker your friend – then here is option number two which I am also doing.

I am seeing more and more people going into the public/private Facebook club. They have a public Facebook account that they use to send their own messages that align with their public persona. This is the link that they give out to everyone if someone wants to see their Facebook page. Human Resources, bosses, and people you don’t really know personally but need to know professionally, and otherwise go here. Then they have a smaller private profile filled with people they really do care about. People like Bosses, HR, and others don’t really belong here; rather this is where you show off your more personal side. I now have a public and a private profile – I spend time in my private profile and do not intend on doing much with my public profile other than make sure that nothing odd is going on with it, or that people are not doing odd things on my wall.

Google Search – I have also made an alert on my name – if it shows up in Google – then I will know about it. Many companies do this to see what conversations are happening around their brand, there is no reason that a person cannot do the same thing. If you know what is being said, then there is a very good chance you can at least know about it. The premise is that if Google knows, then it can at least inform you that something is going on. This is also a way of gathering information about intent; if they start getting angry you will know about it because their goal is going to be to talk about you online.

Twitter and other social searches – I use Tweetdeck a lot, but this same concept will work in Seismic just as well. Make a custom search in Tweetdeck or seismic for your tag or your name and see what crops up. Keep the search and use it for MySpace, Facebook and Twitter (make three searches, there is no universal search feature yet in either product) and keep an eye on it. If they are out there talking about you using your name or your handle – then you will know about it and be able to at least gather evidence of intent (which is very important if they start getting all sorts of freaky on you).

Then there is just simply being vigilant – if something else happens from here at least I am informed, I have taken simple precautions that may or may not work in this case, but at least something is being done. I have used the privacy settings that are available to me on Facebook, and tightened down other systems to keep the noise level down. I have also unfriended people as I saw fit to do so over the weekend, and I have made a sharp distinction between my public and my private self. I have also set up monitoring on the internet via Google and Tweetdeck to make sure that if anything continues I will know about it and then be able to take action from there on. Hopefully this will be the end of it, but in the longer run – we will see what happens from here.

(Cross-posted @ IT Toolbox)