I normally rely on automatic Windows updates, but reading how big a monster this Tuesday’s patch is (the biggest in five years) I decided to get a head start now and let it cook overnight. Yeah, right:
Windows could not search for new updates. But luckily enough there’s a Get help with this error link…
1 result for "WindowsUpdate_8000FFFF" : Troubleshoot problems with installing updates. Click again, we’re almost there:
Oops.. none of these describe the error. As usual, Google finds more on the problem than Microsoft. In fact too much for my taste. Sc**w it, I will leave it to auto-update, whenever it may happen… I’m p****d, but not badly – after all, nothing unexpected happened. Failure, as usual. Vintage Microsoft. 
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I’m now running as much of my computing as possible in Ubunutu – I will never, ever, ever miss the Windows updates!
(Although I do miss the Snipping Tool!)